Wow over six months since my last post! I definitely have been on a few trips since Italy (I was in London, did a fun getaway in upstate NY and the Jersey Shore, Bermuda, and spent the last week of the year on the West Coast), but I couldn't get myself to write. Italy may have seemed great, but most of the time I was feeling miserable and depressed, all because of a stupid guy I was seeing right before I left. Looking back, I wish I didn't let it affect me so much but when you're in a position where you have so many unanswered questions (basically, he ghosted me and while this sh*tty, cowardly tactic is so common these days, I really didn't see him doing that to me--and plus the ghost reappeared a few months later. Argh, long story, maybe I'll write a separate post on this someday but I learned his ghosting had nothing to do with me and everything with him. And nothing in the world made me feel better except reading about other people who've been ghosted so yeah, maybe one day I'll share more details.) it's really hard to see anything else when all you do is rack your mind for clues and what went wrong, what did you miss.
Anyway I think I'm pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, but for quite a few months last year I just felt so sad. Dating in NYC is hard, and it's not like I thought he was "the One" or anything like that, but I felt so disrespected and like I did something wrong or something to turn him off (which I learned later wasn't the case, he's just an ass!). In any case, I just wasn't in the mood to post about my travels after Italy. I am definitely over that situation and my new year's resolution is to remove anything in my life that drains my energy. So I've started deleting dating apps. Not all of them, but I really hate the feeling of having to check messages from strangers. I've been dating online the last 4-5 years and have taken many breaks here and there but I need to remind myself I can't let it drain me! I haven't met the right person yet, and sure, I feel like everyone else around me is riding on rainbows, safe in their boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage cocoon, but the truth is, no relationship is perfect and relationships are hard. While it's nice to have someone around and who will have your back, finding that right person isn't easy for everyone. Life isn't easy for everyone.
Anyway I'll probably won't post about London (went during July 4th weekend, great weather and had a really fun time but all I did there was eat and drink, since I've done the touristy things the first time I was there) but I'll share thoughts on going to Bermuda for Thanksgiving and what to do out near San Francisco. I'm also starting to research places for my trips this year and excited to continue exploring the world!